Coach the Person, Not the Problem by Marcia Reynolds

Author:Marcia Reynolds
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers

The downside of values is their rigidity. If you believe others should have values similar to yours, you might not be able to connect and collaborate with those who have different values, whether at work or at home. I often find in coaching that when clients can’t accept other people’s or an organization’s values, they hold on tightly to what they believe is right and resist seeing another way forward. They won’t compromise. They only want to convince others their values are wrong. All I can do as their coach is to reflect their stance. They have to decide what to do with the impasse.

Share what you notice about their behavior and explore the impact on their work, their relationships, their health, and their desires. They may shift or choose to do something else in time—or not.

A. H. Almaas says in his book The Unfolding Now, “As we become more and more attuned to what is happening in our experience, our capacity to understand ourselves at increasingly subtler levels continues to develop.”8 Your clients learn about themselves and expand their frames when exploring beliefs, emotional expressions, unmet needs, and values conflicts. This process can happen many times in a person’s life as the meanings of significant events unfold.

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